You Can Do This!
One of the most common things people said to me when they found out I was expecting was, “Oh, bless your heart!” SO encouraging, right? Not! These comments were from adults who already raised children, so they didn’t aid in calming my nerves much. But guess what!? They were right! My girls are over a year old now and to say my heart is blessed is an understatement! Very, very blessed! Having a baby will change your life. Having two babies will turn it upside down but you CAN do this!! Don’t listen to criticism or insensitive comments! You were chosen to have two miracles at the same time for a reason and you will rock at it!
It Takes a Village: Accept the Help!
I had a hard time with this one. I think as women we try to be everything to everyone all of the time and of course as moms we want to provide everything for our children! I had to realize that I just went through a tough pregnancy, a major surgery, a blood transfusion, a huge decrease in sleep time and I had two newborn babies that needed something 24/7! I could not do it alone! I don’t know why but when you have multiples, you think everyone thinks that you need help so you want to show them that you don’t! That’s silly! It will end up wearing you down and you can’t be the best mom you can be doing things like that! TAKE THE HELP! Let your husband be a dad, let the friends pitch in, take a nap when the grandparents are visiting, let them help with house chores, etc. You are not any less of a woman, wife or mom by accepting help! You are being a better mother by accepting others’ help!
Let Your Partner Step Up
One of my biggest pet peeves of all time is when people refer to parents (usually the dad) being alone with their kids as “babysitting!” Umm, no. You are bonding with, playing with, enjoying, nurturing or teaching your children. But I also think that sometimes moms are to blame for this. It starts early. Make sure you are letting your husband be involved! If he puts the diaper on wrong, is it going to hurt your baby? No. Will he learn to do it differently after a blowout? Yep! Just let it happen. Don’t criticize or go behind him to correct every little thing that he does! He will get discouraged and eventually stop trying. Now if he misreads a prescription and is about to give your baby 5 Tbsp. of medicine instead of 5 tsp., THEN you say something! Get what I’m saying?
Still Make Time for Your Spouse
It’s no secret that your one-on-one time will decrease but that doesn’t mean it has to cease to exist! Those first couple months will be the hardest, but look for ways to spend some quality time together! At some point when the kids are sleeping cuddle up and watch a Netflix show together, play a game of scrabble, cook a dessert together, or run to town for a quick lunch/dinner (that you may bring back home to eat in the driveway just so you aren’t too far away from your babies) while the grandparents babysit. I promise that those 30 minute “dates” will be something you look forward to everyday until you feel comfortable enough leaving your precious little ones for an actual night out! Your marriage doesn’t need to sit on the back burner!
Use a Pump!
Not all breastfeeding moms use a pump, which is fine, but if you have twins I would highly recommend it! Plus, now they are basically free from your insurance provider! A pump was on my Must Have List for Breastfeeding Twins as I used it every day when breastfeeding! I have a few reasons for using a pump:
- By having twins, the chances of one or both of you babies spending some time in the NICU is a little higher. You may not be able to nurse them right away; pumping allows you to still provide breast milk for your little ones and keep your supply up!
- You need to produce enough milk for two babies and if you are having trouble supplying enough, pumping after each feeding will help to increase your supply.
- You may want to stock up extra breast milk if you are going back to work or are going to be away from your baby for a significant portion of the day.
- It allows your husband to be involved and bond with the baby by giving them a bottle of your expressed milk! You want them to have special bonding time too!
- For me, pumping only took 12-15 minutes while breastfeeding both girls would take close to an hour and a half! Talk about time saver!!! This gives you some flexibility in your schedule and a little “me time” while your husband gives them bottle.
- If you know you are going to stop breastfeeding after a certain period of time, when you go back to work or unexpectedly because your milk dries up, your babies are already used to taking a bottle! You don’t have to worry about them being hungry because they aren’t adjusting well to taking a bottle!
Create a Routine
This will make all sorts of things easier on you! From breastfeeding to bedtime! Since the girls were born early our feeding schedule was every 3 hours around the clock for the first month! After that point the doctor said we didn’t have to wake them up to feed during the night! (That first night not setting an alarm was an exhilarating feeling!) Even though we weren’t doing every 3 hours during the night, I stayed on a STRICT 3 hour schedule during the day! Since the girls took a bottle for the night time feeding it was easy to know exactly how much they were getting and to add an extra half ounce (still within the recommended ounce range per day) so that they could sleep longer stretches! This routine worked exceptionally well for us and both girls were sleeping through the night at 12 weeks! A bedtime routine is also helpful, especially if your little one has trouble going to sleep. Our girls were (luckily) easy to put down after rocking them to sleep but I know that is not always the case. Find something that works for your little one and stick to it! Consistency is KEY!
Take Strangers’ Advice…In One Ear and Out the other!
As mentioned in the first tip, others are going to be insensitive! Most of the time they don’t realize they are doing it and you just brush it off. You will also encounter those people who give their advice without you asking for it or think they know how to raise twins even though they have never even had kids before. You simply smile, nod your head and then forget whatever they said when you walk away! (Easier said than done, I know!)
It’s Okay If They Cry
This one is inevitable! For two teeny-tiny humans they can be very intimidating! I was a little nervous to be left alone with them at first for a long period of time! I was scared they would both be crying at the same time and I wouldn’t be able to soothe them! Let me tell you, that will happen but it will be okay! It can be nerve wracking at times when you are alone. When you have exhausted everything you can think of to help, it is okay to place your baby in their crib and take a minute to yourself to recoup. You will learn what works for each baby and in no time you will have some amazing multi-tasking skills!
You Don’t Need Two of Everything
You obviously need two car seats but don’t have to have two of everything! We had only one swing, one glider, one Pack n’ Play, one Johnny Jumper, one exersaucer and a lot of just one kind of toy. After your babies arrive and depending if they both LOVE a certain thing, you may need to buy another but don’t buy both before they are born. We did have two cribs, two rock n plays, and double the amounts of bottles, bibs, etc.
Enjoy Every Single Moment
For twin parents, your babies start out small and seem like they grow so much as they catch up and outgrow other kids their age! Take a ton of pictures and video! Be in those pictures and video too! Write the milestones down because “mom brain” is a real thing and I don’t know if we ever recover from it! Soak up each stage because next week it will be something new! Cherish every single moment and be the best mom you can be!
**I am not a doctor or pediatrician. These are my opinions and what worked well for us. Consult your child’s pediatrician before making drastic changes to their schedules. (Feeding, sleeping, etc.)
