One of the most common struggles I hear from new moms is figuring out who they are again or how to find an ounce of time for themselves. We have suddenly taken on this HUGE role of mom and it consumes us! (Which isn’t a bad thing) Those first few months we are running on little sleep, trying to figure out a new schedule and learning what this non-verbal, tiny human wants/needs through cues and body language. Sometimes for more than one baby! It’s down-right hard! Those first few months, let’s face it, you are in mom-mode 98% of the time! Those first few months are a season of life that is very demanding and I’m not saying it gets less demanding as time goes on but we learn to adapt to our new way of life, we learn to multi-task and we basically become Superwoman!
We pour so much into our children, our husbands, our work and our friendships that sometimes we forget to or feel like we don’t have the time to pour into ourselves! Have you ever tried to pour from an empty cup? You don’t get very much out of it, do you? We have to make ourselves a priority. We have to discover what revitalizes and refreshes us so that we can be the best Superwoman we can be!
Enjoy the calm before/after the ‘storm’
One of my favorite times of the day for a little “me time” is after the girls go to bed. Luckily for us they go down at 8:30 and are out for the night. (This wasn’t the case at the beginning but stay strong and you will get there!) I like to use this time to do some housework, watch a show with my husband, do my bible study, work on blog stuff or do a workout! That spare time is precious and I truly try to use it to refuel myself for the next day. If you are more of a morning person then get to sleep and wake up at least 30 minutes before you know your kids will wake up. Enjoy that hot cup of coffee in silence and make yourself a healthy breakfast to start your day. Be intentional about the extra time you have. You will be able to tell a difference and your family will too!
Date Night
The truth is, you loved him first! Oh yes, I said it. Because it’s true. Talk about expectations before the baby arrives so that you will both be on the same page. I’m so glad that we did because with expecting twins we knew the first few months were going to be very demanding! At first we didn’t get the typical date nights. It was a 30 minute Netflix show date after the girls laid down or a quick run to town to grab lunch while Nana watched the girls. (We may have even brought the lunch back to the house to eat in the driveway because we didn’t want to be too far away…) Our girls were really good sleepers and by 3 months we were able to celebrate my birthday with dinner, a movie and a night at home alone while the girls had their first sleepover with Mamaw and Papaw. Let people that you trust in your life help! Let them keep your kiddos for a couple hours while you and your spouse grab lunch, go shopping, have a date night and eventually a weekend getaway! (We’re still working up to that last one! I don’t know if Momma is ready yet!) It has done wonders for our marriage to make time for one another and to make the effort to still put our marriage first!
Girls Night
This one can be tough but oh man, when you get in a good girls night/day it is AMAZING! There is just something almost therapeutic about spending time with other women who know EXACTLY what your life if like! I am incredibly blessed to have the sweetest friends! Our husbands are all friends, our kids are the same age and we all attend the same church. They are truly more like extended family! Sorry, I don’t mean to brag but they are awesome and deserve the shout out!
This also has to be an arrangement you make with your husband because you two are going to have to coordinate when girl’s night is so he knows he will have the children for that night. (Side note: one of my biggest pet peeves is when people refer to a parent watching their own children by themselves as babysitting! Umm. No. Just no!) It’s all about give and take. I understand he needs his guy time and so he is usually very accommodating when a girl’s night is on the calendar! We try to have some girl time once a month but in reality it’s about every other. Regardless, it is important and revitalizing to have that time with your besties!
Set a goal to better yourself!
As a mom you are constantly doing for others! You are helping everyone in your family accomplish things they want to do and it’s important that you do something to better yourself too! I’m sure all of us used to have hobbies or do activities before having babies that we don’t do anymore and if you’re like me, you miss those things! So pick something you used to do or find something new to try and make the time for it! Whether its 30 minutes a day or an hour every other day. Whether it means staying up a little later or waking up a little earlier. That time is crucial and worth investing in yourself!
Currently I am training to run a 7-mile race with a friend and working on eating healthier. This is something that gives me some “me time” and I am improving my overall health! I also work on my blog in my spare time which gives me a creative outlet, I get to connect with you amazing women and if I can help just one mom with my ramblings then I feel accomplished!
Whatever it may be, find that something that refuels your tank and fills your cup so it can overflow into your family! You will all be happier because of it!
I’d love to hear what you do for you and how you invest in yourselves! Comment below to give other moms inspiration!
I agree whole heartedly that is is so important to find those moments for yourself and for your husband. A happy mom and dad makes for happier children. When my baby girl was about 18 months we took a trip with some friends Yes It was hard being a way from her but it was great having that time with hubby!